How to Find Beauty in Everyday Moments

At the beginning of last year, I started a “Beautiful Moments” jar. Whenever I noticed a moment that I found beautiful or made me happy, I would write it down and put it into this jar. The thinking was that at the end of the year, I would be able to read and remember these moments.*

I recently spent some time re-reading the beautiful moments I documented. Even though last year was incredibly challenging, I realized there were still so many moments that brought me joy.

I also realized that not all of these were necessarily “milestone” life moments. Most of them were small, everyday moments or interactions that made me happy:

• A friend saying something nice
• A sense of accomplishment from trying and/or mastering something new
• Spending time with loved ones
• Playing video games or reading books I enjoyed

As someone who is very goal-oriented, I tend to have my sights set on big things I want to accomplish. I like having something to work toward. I’ve noticed, however, that sometimes I place so much importance and equate happiness with reaching these milestones. Taking time to slow down and notice the things that brought me joy made me realize that there are also small, every day moments that bring meaning and happiness to my life.

This reminded me of something my former therapist told me regarding goals and values. She told me when you live a goals-based life, you tend to focus on the “what” and can get trapped with measuring your success and happiness on achievements alone. When you live a values-based life, it’s more about the “how” you live your life. It’s not bad to have goals, but our goals should be aligned or in service of our values. This makes them inherently more meaningful. The following video is a great recap on this concept!

Values vs Goals – By Dr. Russ Harris

Will getting that great job or house really make you happier? In this fun & entertaining video, Dr. Russ Harris, Acceptance & Commitment Therapist, explains the important distinction between living a goals-focused vs a values-focused life… and why living in accordance with your innermost values can lead to a more rich, full, and meaningful life.

When I shifted my thinking and living towards being more values-based, I found it a lot easier to notice these beautiful moments that I otherwise might have missed.

So, how can you find the beauty and joy in every day life?

Here is a list of practices that have helped me:

• Spend time thinking about your values and what matters to you. Only do things that align to your values, and do your best to spend time with people who share the same values.
• Take time to truly unplug and disconnect. Technology is a great tool, but it can also be distracting.
• Spend time in nature or walking around your neighborhood.
• Do your best to be present with the people around you. Practice active listening and emotional vulnerability.
• Spend time truly taking care of yourself. Self-care goes beyond things like bubble baths and face masks. It also includes recognizing harmful behaviors or patterns and working toward self-improvement.
• Slow down and take time to notice your surroundings. What are the things that draw you in?

I’ve found that these things aren’t necessarily easy. They take a lot of practice and real work. Some days are better than others and it’s important to remember you’re human.

What are some of the ways that you find beauty?

*This is one of the activities in A Book That Takes Its Time: An Unhurried Adventure in Creative Mindfulness, a book that ended up being incredibly useful in 2020. As you can probably tell from the title, it’s full of creative exercises and prompts centered around mindfulness. My in-laws gave it to me in Christmas 2019, and I’m still working my way through it. I highly recommend it!